Can't believe I haven't checked in since Easter...
but Easter was really good.
As most of you,
the aftermath has been sorta crazy busy, but in good ways.
I had a mission trip with my confirmands to DC, led by the Quaker organization, Youth With a Mission, which was so, so, so, good. It was transformative for my kids, and they really did make a difference.
Upon return, it was preparation for Confirmation Sunday, which was this past Sunday. it was fantastic, and I have to say my sweeties had so much to say in their personal statements that moved us all. I am at the age, now, when I work with these kids, that I feel so...invested in THEM. I feel motherly-pastoral-y. I hope that is o.k.
Many things unbloggable right now....which is pretty much everything always with me...I fear my heart is going to be broken...but then, that is silly, right. Whatever happens, my heart has been full, so full, and so blessed....and the fear of the unknown is the fear of being dissappointed greatly.
In any case,
that is what is going on.
Goodnews....I get to hang out with some long distance friends tomorrow.
YaHOOOOO.
xoxoxo
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
alleluia, Love has risen.
The sun has awakened,
The birds are singing...m
I am sitting in the quiet of my office,
with my legs curled up on the love seat,
with a snuffling poodle on one side,
and a calico kitty resting on my arm.
They are the two eldest beings in the household.
I am glad they have chosen to be with me in the dusk of the morning.
These aged and wise creatures are my companions as I wonder about
the alleluias of this day...
As I stand looking at the empty tomb...
I long to be as terrified and ecstatic as
Mary Magdalene, Salome, and mother Mary,
for Christ is not in the tomb,
which means
that perhaps,
Christ has risen,
perhaps
what he said was true,
that Love conquers all.
I may not run from that empty tomb,
I may feel more doubt than terror,
more disbelief than ecstasy,
but I do believe
with all of my heart and soul,
that Love will rise,
that Love has risen,
and that Love will come again.
Alleluia,
Amen.
The birds are singing...m
I am sitting in the quiet of my office,
with my legs curled up on the love seat,
with a snuffling poodle on one side,
and a calico kitty resting on my arm.
They are the two eldest beings in the household.
I am glad they have chosen to be with me in the dusk of the morning.
These aged and wise creatures are my companions as I wonder about
the alleluias of this day...
As I stand looking at the empty tomb...
I long to be as terrified and ecstatic as
Mary Magdalene, Salome, and mother Mary,
for Christ is not in the tomb,
which means
that perhaps,
Christ has risen,
perhaps
what he said was true,
that Love conquers all.
I may not run from that empty tomb,
I may feel more doubt than terror,
more disbelief than ecstasy,
but I do believe
with all of my heart and soul,
that Love will rise,
that Love has risen,
and that Love will come again.
Alleluia,
Amen.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
holy, wholly Saturday....
In my current setting, we do not observe Holy Saturday.
But it still has a bit of a shroud over it, you know?
In fact, this space between Good Friday, and Resurrection Sunday, for me, is the most wistful. It feels like how you feel when someone you love has either died, or moved away or moved on, and there is this hole in your life, a missing presence that gapes in its emptiness and permanence.
That's what today feels like. I am thinking about Mary Magdalene, having been at the cross, perhaps been close by when Jesus was laid in the tomb, and the stone rolled shut, and he is just gone.
No more long conversations over dinner,
No more wondering what would come next with him,
No more anything.
So final--and you don't really know what to do with yourself. You want to tell someone how your feel, but that Someone is gone.
So, I sit, I wait,
with this huge hole in my heart on this Holy Saturday...
and I suppose this is what the
journey to wholeness
is all about.
Amen.
But it still has a bit of a shroud over it, you know?
In fact, this space between Good Friday, and Resurrection Sunday, for me, is the most wistful. It feels like how you feel when someone you love has either died, or moved away or moved on, and there is this hole in your life, a missing presence that gapes in its emptiness and permanence.
That's what today feels like. I am thinking about Mary Magdalene, having been at the cross, perhaps been close by when Jesus was laid in the tomb, and the stone rolled shut, and he is just gone.
No more long conversations over dinner,
No more wondering what would come next with him,
No more anything.
So final--and you don't really know what to do with yourself. You want to tell someone how your feel, but that Someone is gone.
So, I sit, I wait,
with this huge hole in my heart on this Holy Saturday...
and I suppose this is what the
journey to wholeness
is all about.
Amen.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Disappointment
I am not sure if Jesus felt disappointment during his last days,
but it seems to be an appropriate sentiment
for the next few days.
At least, that is where I am at in my heart.
Huge disappointment prevails,
and I need to walk with it the next few days,
attend to it,
and not let it embitter me,
but allow it
to move through me,
rest in me,
and hopefully
find release.
I am not feeling forsaken,
but a bit of desolate abandonment
is spilled in little dank puddles in my soul,
the kind that don't dry up in the sun right away
after a rain,
the ones that sit there, and get clogged with oil and broken bits of leaves and dead bugs.
A spiritual issue,
a spiritual pining and wondering...
and sadness.
May I uncover the Holy in this slog of journey the next few days.
Amen.
but it seems to be an appropriate sentiment
for the next few days.
At least, that is where I am at in my heart.
Huge disappointment prevails,
and I need to walk with it the next few days,
attend to it,
and not let it embitter me,
but allow it
to move through me,
rest in me,
and hopefully
find release.
I am not feeling forsaken,
but a bit of desolate abandonment
is spilled in little dank puddles in my soul,
the kind that don't dry up in the sun right away
after a rain,
the ones that sit there, and get clogged with oil and broken bits of leaves and dead bugs.
A spiritual issue,
a spiritual pining and wondering...
and sadness.
May I uncover the Holy in this slog of journey the next few days.
Amen.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Rescue Me
I have been working this past week on a tricky animal rescue.
One low-income, kinda whacked out but kind hearted owner, but unpredictable.
Two dogs, one pit bull, one boxer-pit mix.
9 puppies.
When they were discovered, the puppies were only four weeks old, except there were only six puppies. You see, he had sold three of them already. WTHeck? The pit bull (male) was lethargic and limping. The momma was kept separated from the puppies, only to nurse at certain times.
I took the poppa to the vet, which turned out to be good as he had lyme disease, but it's treatable. Yesterday, I took Boo Boo (poppa) to the ASPCA to be neutered. When I returned Boo Boo home, I went in to check on the puppies, now maybe five weeks-six weeks. He, the owner, has weaned them off momma, and feeding them crunchy food, which is not all and good, as the puppies are so hungry. I could feel their ribs.
So here is the rub. The animal officers at the ASPCA threatened to take the pups, but called our organization with the threat. We have been trying to get the puppies and the momma, but he won't give us the momma, and we didn't feel good about pulling them at so young. Of course, has the Big Organization with A Lot of Money offered to help us with this besides threats? Hmmm. Not so much.
We are going to get them tomorrow morning under the guise of getting them all checked out for lyme disease. All I can do is pray for those little guys and know that at least, at least they are getting some food, right?
My heart aches for these helpless ones--the feral cats my beloved traps to be neutered and released, these puppies....they are little magnets on my heart and won't let go.
And then there is the owner, who I know really thinks he is doing the right thing, and can't be swayed otherwise, but loves his dogs. He doesn't care for them the way I do, and yet, he doesn't have the means that I do.
This animal ministry, it's hard.
Sigh.
One low-income, kinda whacked out but kind hearted owner, but unpredictable.
Two dogs, one pit bull, one boxer-pit mix.
9 puppies.
When they were discovered, the puppies were only four weeks old, except there were only six puppies. You see, he had sold three of them already. WTHeck? The pit bull (male) was lethargic and limping. The momma was kept separated from the puppies, only to nurse at certain times.
I took the poppa to the vet, which turned out to be good as he had lyme disease, but it's treatable. Yesterday, I took Boo Boo (poppa) to the ASPCA to be neutered. When I returned Boo Boo home, I went in to check on the puppies, now maybe five weeks-six weeks. He, the owner, has weaned them off momma, and feeding them crunchy food, which is not all and good, as the puppies are so hungry. I could feel their ribs.
So here is the rub. The animal officers at the ASPCA threatened to take the pups, but called our organization with the threat. We have been trying to get the puppies and the momma, but he won't give us the momma, and we didn't feel good about pulling them at so young. Of course, has the Big Organization with A Lot of Money offered to help us with this besides threats? Hmmm. Not so much.
We are going to get them tomorrow morning under the guise of getting them all checked out for lyme disease. All I can do is pray for those little guys and know that at least, at least they are getting some food, right?
My heart aches for these helpless ones--the feral cats my beloved traps to be neutered and released, these puppies....they are little magnets on my heart and won't let go.
And then there is the owner, who I know really thinks he is doing the right thing, and can't be swayed otherwise, but loves his dogs. He doesn't care for them the way I do, and yet, he doesn't have the means that I do.
This animal ministry, it's hard.
Sigh.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
just a few words, here, because really....
... my writing time is so limited.
hmm.
I guess I limit it myself,
by what I think I should be doing,
with whom I should be connecting,
how I might be presenting.
well,
here is another interruption.
but it is good to check in.
hmm.
I guess I limit it myself,
by what I think I should be doing,
with whom I should be connecting,
how I might be presenting.
well,
here is another interruption.
but it is good to check in.
Monday, February 13, 2012
a manic monday of meanderings
Well, it's not really a Manic Monday--I just like the Cyndi Lauper song, and it comes to my head almost every Monday. Silly, yes, I know.
So, I haven't settled in to write much for a long time. What's new?
The RevGalBlogPals BE5 was lovely and all kinds of awesome. What a privilege to get to know a group of women pastors and talk about texts and enjoy chocolate melting cake at night and the occasional pink martini or two. Enough said.
Before we left on the cruise, my Dear One and I spent a few days in NOLA kicking back. We mostly wandered the streets of the French Quarter, enjoyed the warmth, and ate a LOT OF DELICIOUS FOOD.
So between the NOLA carousing and the dessert on the cruise, in spite of exercising vigorously everyday, I gained 6 pounds.
The good news, is that I lost five of it last week--so certainly, it was just too much sodium and bloating, right? ;-) Whatever the case, it was all definitely worth it!
Sort of slid back into the ministry routine last week. What was nice was a minimum of endless meetings, and a maximum of direct ministry moments--from nursing home visits to bible studies to women's gatherings, a sermon to write and preach, and confirmation class. LOVE.
It's hard to say where the vocational call will emerge, but for now, it's o.k. I am simply giving it over, striving to be faithful and patient and loving--and to Be Here Now. I am good with this.
On the homefront with the four legged friends, life is a little hectic. We still have the big boy foster pit bull, who is a big baby. He is good for one of our dogs, they just wrestle and play and rip up toys. So the house is full of bits of plastic and decapitated stuffed animals and fluffs of their innards strewn about.
Unfortunately they were having one of their wrestling matches and our little 14 year matronly toy poodle decided she should referee. That pretty much pissed off her housemate, Cooper, who attacked her, and left her unable to walk. I thought it might be a little sprain, but it hasn't improved over the weekend, and she can't walk, so off to the vet,
AFTER the plumber leaves, who is installing a new kitchen sink (hallelujah!) and hopefully fixing our bathroom sink which is all kinds of clogged.
That's it for now.
So, I haven't settled in to write much for a long time. What's new?
The RevGalBlogPals BE5 was lovely and all kinds of awesome. What a privilege to get to know a group of women pastors and talk about texts and enjoy chocolate melting cake at night and the occasional pink martini or two. Enough said.
Before we left on the cruise, my Dear One and I spent a few days in NOLA kicking back. We mostly wandered the streets of the French Quarter, enjoyed the warmth, and ate a LOT OF DELICIOUS FOOD.
So between the NOLA carousing and the dessert on the cruise, in spite of exercising vigorously everyday, I gained 6 pounds.
The good news, is that I lost five of it last week--so certainly, it was just too much sodium and bloating, right? ;-) Whatever the case, it was all definitely worth it!
Sort of slid back into the ministry routine last week. What was nice was a minimum of endless meetings, and a maximum of direct ministry moments--from nursing home visits to bible studies to women's gatherings, a sermon to write and preach, and confirmation class. LOVE.
It's hard to say where the vocational call will emerge, but for now, it's o.k. I am simply giving it over, striving to be faithful and patient and loving--and to Be Here Now. I am good with this.
On the homefront with the four legged friends, life is a little hectic. We still have the big boy foster pit bull, who is a big baby. He is good for one of our dogs, they just wrestle and play and rip up toys. So the house is full of bits of plastic and decapitated stuffed animals and fluffs of their innards strewn about.
Unfortunately they were having one of their wrestling matches and our little 14 year matronly toy poodle decided she should referee. That pretty much pissed off her housemate, Cooper, who attacked her, and left her unable to walk. I thought it might be a little sprain, but it hasn't improved over the weekend, and she can't walk, so off to the vet,
AFTER the plumber leaves, who is installing a new kitchen sink (hallelujah!) and hopefully fixing our bathroom sink which is all kinds of clogged.
That's it for now.
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