Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Turnings...

it's just been such
basket of turns these days...

really, since spring...
and the turnings,
the transitions...
professionally,
personally...

have been enough
to feel like at times
I've been cosmically
thrown under the bus,
at times,
feeling
like it's all o.k., and I've got peace like a river in my soul....

but at other times,
sucking my breath in
and wanting to throw dishes at the wall
and break things...

and then the blissful denial times of,
curling up into a ball
and getting lost
in Candy Crush.
(yes, I have succumbed to that this summer.)

my eyes have been hot with tears of rage,
softly filled with sadness and grief,
overflowing with laughter and love.

and trying to find You in all this
has been virtually impossible.
each turning brings a glimpse,
and then abruptly disappearing
around the next unexpected turn.

Humbled. Crushed.
Hope-sick, searching,
Knowing and unknowing,
I wait for You.

it's really all I know what to do.
Amen.

2 comments:

  1. But then you remember 'Footprints' and know that God has been with you all along. Tough times, but God knows about failure and pain. Okay?

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  2. oh dear... may the turnings, eventually bring you to the place within you crave, the place professionally that god has prepared for you and prepared you for, and may the answers come, sooner rather than later.

    prayers from me & lucky

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