so today...rambling

This is a post that really ought to be over at 750words.com since I am not really crafting anything.

I am sitting on my bed, working from home this morning.   I have one snoring poodle at my feet, another poodle sleeping on my knee, devil puppy resting vigilantly on my right, and Lucy cat snuggled up to my iphone at the right.  

The day is gray....it snowed last night, but it is gone....my tulips, that were just starting shoot up, well, I hope they are o.k.   I don't think there was a hard freeze last night.

And Lent.  We are in Lent.   I do love Lent.  In my congregation we typically have a potluck dinner, and then a discussion series throughout this season.  This season we are exploring "Who is Jesus to me?".   Last night we combined this discussion with the pastor's class with our confirmation class--so it was intergenerational.  Many of the students' mentors were there, which was so great.  

I have to tell you, this particular group of students are incredibly, beautifully, and interestingly delightful!
They are so engaged, and their mentors are, as well.   We had three separate segments, with an ice breaker at the beginning, and prayer at the end.   They were hilarious is describing to each other what they had for breakfast--like they were talking about four course gourmet meals that centered around cheerios and skim milk.   We also looked at images of Jesus in art--which was incredibly powerful.  

It's been a week of weird karma, I think, for some people in my life.   Terminations of employment, Christians not being very christian,  and generally, just all around thoughtlessness in spite of probably thinking thoughtfully, but in only one paradigm. UGH.

For me, on Monday, I finished four planters that I will take to the studio to be bisqued and then I will glaze later.  It felt good to finish them--I actually went downstairs to my home studio to throw, because I haven't done that for a few years, and I want to make some chalices,  but then those wrapped up coil pots started calling to me--I thought they weren't salvageable because I hadn't wrapped them correctly.  I was joyfully wrong, and spent four hours carving flowers and animals and abstract designs.  So, so nourishing.

Lots of other things professionally knocking about in my head and heart, but thankfully, no urgent decisions to be made.  This is good....and so I keep holding things in the light and to God, and ask for Spirit's guidance, and peace.

bad t.v.

So, there has been just a little stress over in my world these days...
Not huge stress,
just changes...
and not knowing my place in teh change...
which should be clearer by tomorrow, or Friday.

In the meantime,
I've been meditating and brain dumping on 750 word.com,  eating glorious pesto mozarella ricotta pepperoni calzones, and watching really bad t.v. 
The Bachelor.
Sister Wives. 
Basketball Wives.  (disclaimer, I was at the gym and forgot the ipod, but had my earphones to plug in...probably the lowest of the low in t.v. entertainment.  seriously, worse than Jersey Shore. Oh, yes, I watched one of those, too).

Wait,  you ask, did you say PEPPERONI??? Aren't you a vegetarian?  Why I am, thank you for asking. 
But the best comfort food in the world is either pepperoni on a pizza, or a mcdonald's cheeseburger (yes, the kidmeal kind). I know, messed up, right?  ;-)

Speaking of the gym, I have done that a couple of times, too...plus long brisk walks with the doggies.
Very good for the soul, and much more healthy than aforementioned food.

So. Change. 
Is good, right?
Spring is change--the crocus' are coming out, purple for lent....

and this Lent, the journey is real, and good, and curious.

Amen.

so, oh much...

So.
Sigh.

So much holding in my heart.

I can say that my colleague, SP has resigned to move on to interim ministry.  

So many implications for my ministry and call....

And many questions and wonderings,

And prayers for...

I am not sure.  

Just prayers.


Meanwhile, I distract my mind with watching the season finale of "The Bachelor"---which I haven't watched at all this season---or any season, really.  

Escaping isn't a bad thing, is it?

Faith and Trust.

Recently I had a dream...
Where I was asked, by a Sage Woman, "Who CAN'T you trust?"
and I started naming all these names until I just started sobbing.
I laid down on the floor..in a pile...
The Sage handed me a long piece of wood--sort of the shape of a walking stick, but more like a branch. I hugged it, and then realized the shape of the end of the stick was the form of a wolf puppy.
But she was not breathing.
She was lifeless--
I realized her head was separated from her body.
So I took a piece of thin but beautiful bark, and made a collar out of it, which provided the possibility of attaching her body to her head. It worked.
She slowly roused, unsteady on her feet...
Wild..
Weak...
Confident...

I thought briefly that I wanted her to stay with me...

But the Sage said, "She needs to be free...to roam..and be her wolf-self"

So, I took her outside...and it was in a neighborhood sort of suburban rural...lots of trees, but homes, too.

The wolf puppy still seemed a little disoriented...and was slowly moving through the woods.
I was worried for her safety in this populated area..but the Sage assured me she would be free and wild.

A boy--about 10--came out and started to throw rocks at the wolf puppy...and I ran over to him and told him (ok I yelled at him with all the power I had) to go back inside of his house and that he needed to respect all that is wild and Nature and woods.

He went home.

I turned around,
And the wolf puppy was trotting away...and she turned around for just a few seconds to look at me in the eyes...
As if to say "I am wild. And free. And I will be fine."

And then I awoke, and I felt like I was being held in the arms of the ocean, as the boat (ship) rocked ever so gently in the moments before the sun began to rise.


P.S. What this has to do with the title of the post? I have no idea, but I suspect nothing and everything.

Take five and just sing and dance with me on this...

Stand by Me from theRedPillRadio on Vimeo.