A few weeks ago I started suffering from excruciating pain in my lower back--nothing like I have experienced before. In fact, I even went to the doctor. According to her, my disc is smooshed, and the best thing to do for it was gentle stretching, advil (although she gave me something for pain, and a muscle relaxer if I needed) and short walks during the day. All of that helped, although I didn't think it would.
It's still...a little achey sometimes, so I decided that since the stretches worked, and they were yoga stretches, that I should go to yoga classes.
It just happened that this month, a former colleague of my beloved opened her own yoga studio, Floga Yoga. So, went this week, on Tuesday, for the first time.
I was a little anxious. I asked Tiffany, the owner, "this will be a beginner class, right? " She assured me all the classes were beginner, with some challenges.
Tiffany is a great teacher. She has her own style, and oh, did I mention, that during the class, during certain poses, she comes and massages your shoulder or your neck with a cooling oil? Pretty darn cool.
Well, that day, I was already the fat girl in the class, with three thirty something mommies that obviously were in fabulous shape. Plus, when have done yoga in the past, I slip all over the mat, so I wear these socks plus biking gloves on my hands (I am an extra sweaty person) so I can hold poses. So, now not only was I the fat girl in class, I was the nerdy fat girl with weird accessories who sweat all over the mat. I was drippin' while everyone looked lithe and limber.
So, one of the things that Tiffany likes to work on is balance. HAH! I can't stand on one foot to save my life...and I kept falling over. I just kept cracking myself up, and then I was hoping I didn't distract anyone.
In spite of being self conscious, I had fun. The mommies were not judgemental (just me on my ownself).
I went back yesterday. Falling all over the place, sweating like a...I don't know what sweats more than me. I was still the fat nerdy girl with black socks on. Tiffany did some crazy poses...and one I just thought I couldn't do, but everyone else was trying, so I tried, three times...and the final time, I sort of managed. Everybody clapped.
Now I am the class mascot, too. OY!
But seriously, I have been thinking about balance, alot. I know that balance is about core strength, physically. As a metaphor, I am thinking about my inner core strength, and balance, in my inner life. In my outer life, I think there is pretty good balance, but I think I have been ignoring the inner life somewhat.
So, balance is going to be something that I am going to work on....strength...
so I can stand on one foot, and be aware of the strength and balance within...
I offer this as my prayer today.