Thank you for your love and prayers.
RevGirls and friends just ROCK.
When I go into a tailspin, I tend to spin in, you know? Hunker down, curl up, whatever. So...
Thursday, I had a little bed party. It was the perfect day for it because it rained and rained...and what is better than a whole season of Weeds to catch up (or whatever you haven't watched for a long time for mindless t.v.), a little knitting project, intermittent naps, and at least four dogs and a various cat or two joining you in your little bed pity party.
Friday, it was time to GET. OVER. MYSELF. Knowing, that yes, having my feelings is important...but not to let them hold me hostage. (Goodness, I think I actually learned something from all those years of therapy!) So I hauled my ass out of bed, and dragged it to the pottery studio and my Friday Friends, who were supportive and loving, and I got to make stuff. Lovely. Then, home to walk dogs, clean house, and join my beloved at a function for her work--even though I didn't feel like it, I did it. Oh, and yes, I made an appointment to see my mental health specialist on Monday.
Saturday was a family day. I still was checked out of work, which was good. A little mini-leave of absence is good.
Thing is, I know all these things happen for a reason, and that ultimately I will receive a welcome, and not all rejection. I am a little scared that might not happen..but all I can do is trust. And know that I am called, and the Mystery and wisdom of God will prevail. Or, at least, I have--with faith, with friends, with family--what it takes to get through it.
amen, amen, and amen.
(but, hey God, still not done ranting.........)