I must admit.
I have caught myself doing what I hate...but at least I caught myself, right?
Here is the thing. I was watching the news, and Hilary Clinton's photo came up, and said to myself,
"ugh, I hate her hair. It looked so much better shorter."
Then, the other night, when Candy Crowly was moderating the debate, I looked at here and said to myself, "Ugh. Candy? Really? Spiral curls? Not a good look."
And then, I stopped.
If Candy and Hilary wear their hair long, curly, ponytails, who cares?
The other day, my colleague and I were at an event, and a young woman was dressed in a nice jacket and incredibly short skirt (as I think is the fashion these days). It was a young fashionista polished look. Here's the thing, though, she was a largish young woman, and the the short skirt , well, revealed a lot of heavy legs. I thought to myself, "Not a good look for you, honey..."
And then I stopped.
I reframed my thought, and said to myself (o.k. yes, I do talk a lot to myself....but isn't the perogative of middle age?), "Good for her for having the confidence to rock her look."
I don't know about you, but I feel like, as women, we need to support what is on the inside of our sisters. I need to be better at this...because we are all socialized to look at the outside in order to assess the whole person.
Don't get me wrong, I love to pick out clothes, I love to don my bracelets and earrings, and pick out lip-gloss. But if I show up wearing baggy pants, ruffled hair, and a shade of lipstick that doesn't really favor my coloring, it makes no difference of who I am on the inside. A strong, capable, proud, beautiful person with depth and integrity.
That's what I need to remember when I encounter people--go beyond the skin. To wonder at the inner life of someone. To think to myself, wow, "Candy Crowley, I wonder what it is like to be you right now--moderating a presidential debate! Did you ever think when you were 16 that this is what you might do someday?"
So, I am going to work on my inner-sexist critic thing. And celebrate confidence and character in women...and men.
And that's it for now!