still balancing...

I am still yoga-ing...been at it for three weeks, and have managed three times/week (unlimited card for this month).  Still working on the balance, which is slightly better, but still I tippy toppy and fall, a lot. 

Did you know that September is National Yoga Month? 

So, in class, we will be exploring our chakras through different asanas.  Today was the root chakra, the color red.  To strengthen this chakra, is to work on balance--being rooted and grounded.  The primary issues with this chakra are survival and fear.

Huh.  Survival and fear do twine through my life at times, and I think at this time, no differently.  I am looking at a situation in my ministry where all the writing on the wall points to me making a move before next spring and budget issues are faced with reality. On the other hand, I can't imagine, sometimes, being somewhere else, let alone moving to a different community.  (Most open positions right now have parsonages attached).  Obviously, we won't leave the Boston area, because Beloved still needs to be able to commute.  But then, this hinders the radius of searching.  I'm not feeling all that confident, because truly, this all comes down to a God thing, and I trust and fear, all at the same time. I have no control. But with time feeling like it's getting shorter, well, the breath gets a little shorter, and my balance a little off, and I search for control, although I know that it is more productive to give it over, breathe into the uncertainty, and breath out, reaching out to God, to crawl into her hands, and hold me.

Tomorrow, I celebrate my 10th anniversary of ordination.  What an amazing day that was---I can't really describe it.  All of my parents came from North Dakota to North Carolina, two of my sisters--one from California and one from Colorado made the journey, and friends from seminary and Florida all came.  We shared dinner together on Friday, went hiking on Saturday morning, played all afternoon, had dinner again on Saturday night...all of my friends loved one another. Even though they were all so different!  The ordination was during worship (which I had to finagle a little), but we had african inspired drumming for the processional, lots of feminist prayers and tears and laughter.  The affirmation of my call to ministry from my friends and family, and new church community was overwhelming and tender.

Remembering that day offers me some inner balance.  Remembering that day reminds me that I am called, and born to do this work of ministry, and God will lead me through these next months, no matter what happens.  And perhaps, in all of this, I will indeed grow grounded enough to balance on one leg, and even fly.

Amen.