Well,
the program year has started with an incredible...whoosshhh.
In other words, really busy.
I am still where I was planted five plus years ago, and getting used to having a new interim senior colleague. This is going fine. Different, getting used to it, fine. As an interim situation, I suspect that I am very lucky.
It's just not the place I envisioned being in when we moved here 6 years ago.
I adore my congregation. I love my work. Don't get me wrong. I also am very, very, very weary of the being the second pastor. Kind of sort of ready to be in my own gig. Have been for some time.
However, I know this is not the plan of the universe, for now, and that I am where I am supposed to be for now.
There are times I rejoice--I love watching our children grow up--I mean, really, J is in middle school this fall??? And oh, how grown up N is!! I am grateful that I know R's story, so that in this current transition, I can be fully, pastorally there (as best I can).....It's all really a gift, you know?
There are times I am embarrassed--that I am STILL an associate pastor (just naming it--I know better--but it is a part of how I feel) and there are times I am bewildered. I know the Gentle Divine gets it.
And tonight,
As the temperature changes, and a cool breeze is wafting in the open window, I am every so humbled and welcoming of that great Gentleness.
Amen.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to name it, dear friend. Your gifts are plentiful, and I'm eager to see how God will use them in the future.
ReplyDeleteGod is preparing a place for you, and when that place is ready for you, you will each fond one another...and, it will be delightful. I speak from the heart, and from that place of despair that has been transformed. Name it, hope for it, give God your yearning....God will respond, in Gods time....sigh.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
I hope you'll follow whatever is calling. It is okay to be in a holding pattern--sounds like you are keeping your eyes open.
ReplyDelete