sunday morning....unsettlement

it's funny this morning,
as I quietly get ready for the day...
how...
well, how wistful I feel.

I am so ready to be in a church as a lead pastor...
it feels so overdue, and yet I know that my ministry continues to thrive where I am....

I will love on people today,
They will share love with me...
Someone might get irritated with me,
The children will make me laugh and cry all at once....
I will worry how long the service goes, and be sad that I have to leave right afterwards, missing coffee and the forum with a pastor from Uganda working against the violence against the LGBT community...

but my sadness will be shortlived as I walk into another beloved community and share my learnings about Godly Play with a group of parents,
and I will be touched with wonder as I tell them the parable of The Good Shepherd...

but right now, I feel wistful.  I feel like I have one foot in, and one foot reaching for the door...

but the door doesn't exist right now.

I can only trust you, Holy One.
Bring me fully to You this morning...
And to where and how you have called me to be
exactly in my reality.

Help me live it fully, for your sake, for your Love and not my ego.

Breathing in, I breathe in You...
Breathing out, I release myself to the moment.
Amen.